I turned 25 this week.
I love birthdays because it's a chance to look back on all that has happened and to look forward on all that will/could/should happen and let me tell you, A LOT has happened. Not just in my 24th year of life, but throughout my entire life. A lot happens to everyone throughout their lives, so I'm not saying I'm that special or anything, but I'm really happy with all that has happened.
Just last year I had a baby and changed my name, in that order too. I made new friends, I found old friends, I got to know all my friends a little bit better and I'm so thankful for all of them. I got to know myself better too. For example, I found out that I'm pretty good at managing people and that whether or not I want to admit that I'm good at the restaurant thing, I am good at it and I'm okay with that (finally). I also found I could give birth without drugs. who knew? I can exist from day to day without more than 3 hours of consecutive sleep at night, going on 8 months. I found that I can cook, I can laugh and I can forgive (Anyone who has ever hurt me has been forgiven, except one person and I'm still working through that. His time will come, if he's lucky) I found that I know what I want to be and I've been too lazy getting there.
I know that my 25th year is going to be hard. Harder than the previous years I suspect. We're moving in with in-laws (again) for a short period (hopefully). We're changing jobs, gaining perspective, watching our son grow, growing with each other. We'll have less bills perhaps, but a greater responsibility. So, for this year, my 25th, I would like to see these things happen:
lots of love, laughter, friendship, a house and car purchase, job switching, money saving, biking, running, gardening, cooking, swimming, reading, schooling and enjoying every single day for whatever it gives me.
So, here's to turning a quarter-century old!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Friday, December 5, 2008
31 days of thanks Days 13-31
So I sit here now five days into December realizing how overly ambitious I was about being able to actually carve out time to write everyday. By "write" I mean blog. I do manage to write everyday. I write lists of things "to-do", lists of gifts, lists of books I'd like to read someday and through it all, through diapers and illness and work and laughter and holidays and coffee spilled for the 2nd time in 15 minutes I was able to write down something I'm thankful for each day I've been away.
For days 13-31 I am thankful for:
The feeling of nostalgia, empty seats on the plane home, arriving home from my trip to the most wonderful best friend and husband, the post pregnancy hormones that actually keep me warm on the coldest days, returning to work and the normalcy it provides, half-hemmed curtains and the A+ for attempting to do so while I was away, having dishes to wash, having the most wonderful friends, bedtime stories, West Elm and the hopes that one day we'll graduate from side of the road treasures to timeless pieces, warm socks, thoughtful notes, "no joiners fee", turkey and drunken cranberries, the beginning of a tradition, comfort in the known and the hope of the unknown, days off and finally the gorgeous, gracious, funny men in my life and the love, compassion and strength of my friends, of OUR friends.
For days 13-31 I am thankful for:
The feeling of nostalgia, empty seats on the plane home, arriving home from my trip to the most wonderful best friend and husband, the post pregnancy hormones that actually keep me warm on the coldest days, returning to work and the normalcy it provides, half-hemmed curtains and the A+ for attempting to do so while I was away, having dishes to wash, having the most wonderful friends, bedtime stories, West Elm and the hopes that one day we'll graduate from side of the road treasures to timeless pieces, warm socks, thoughtful notes, "no joiners fee", turkey and drunken cranberries, the beginning of a tradition, comfort in the known and the hope of the unknown, days off and finally the gorgeous, gracious, funny men in my life and the love, compassion and strength of my friends, of OUR friends.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
31 days of thanks (12)
Wednesday Nov 12th:
Today I am thankful for my Toyota Corolla and for Target.
After working downtown for all those years I never thought I would say or think how thankful I am for Target. I hated the corporate snobs coming in to eat all dressed alike and I hated that Target was everywhere all mass produced (even though secretely I kinda like Target). I've never like Wal-Mart. Growing up it was the only place to "shop" so I dealt with it like it was, but once I got a taste of Target upon moving to Minneapolis I switched sides and never looked back.
My choice was reaffirmed today, well the past few days actually. Going into Wal-Mart is like walking into another country where I don't speak the language, and I'm not talking about language at all. I've been to the WM here 4 times this week and each time I couldn't find help when I needed it, couldn't find what I needed when I did find some help and walked out each time flustered and frusterated. There were two things on my agenda that I really really needed to get while here: ink for my grandpa's printer and an insulated lunch sack for my milk for the trip home. 4 seperate trips, 3 different WM's and nothing. I had to drive 35 minutes across town to find a Target but man oh man was it worth it! I got in and out in 15 minutes; ink, cooler and a bonus trail mix in my hand. Why oh why did I even waste my time with WM?
The second thing I'm thankful for today is my compact Toyota Corolla. Not only is 'Spence' great on gas, I feel I look way less ridiculous driving down the street with my bass and crappy music turned up way loud. You see, my son HATES the car. He cries and cries unless there is some bass and rap/pop music blasting. I know I look pretty ridiculous driving around in my silver compact, but I bet it doesn't look nearly as ridiculous as it does when I drive around with the music and bass blasting in my grandpa's pearl white Escalade with gold rims. I put on my darkest shades, lean way back and pretend that I don't notice all the looks coming my way... It keeps E happy and my nerves subdued, but seriously folks.. it's pretty ridiculous.
Today I am thankful for my Toyota Corolla and for Target.
After working downtown for all those years I never thought I would say or think how thankful I am for Target. I hated the corporate snobs coming in to eat all dressed alike and I hated that Target was everywhere all mass produced (even though secretely I kinda like Target). I've never like Wal-Mart. Growing up it was the only place to "shop" so I dealt with it like it was, but once I got a taste of Target upon moving to Minneapolis I switched sides and never looked back.
My choice was reaffirmed today, well the past few days actually. Going into Wal-Mart is like walking into another country where I don't speak the language, and I'm not talking about language at all. I've been to the WM here 4 times this week and each time I couldn't find help when I needed it, couldn't find what I needed when I did find some help and walked out each time flustered and frusterated. There were two things on my agenda that I really really needed to get while here: ink for my grandpa's printer and an insulated lunch sack for my milk for the trip home. 4 seperate trips, 3 different WM's and nothing. I had to drive 35 minutes across town to find a Target but man oh man was it worth it! I got in and out in 15 minutes; ink, cooler and a bonus trail mix in my hand. Why oh why did I even waste my time with WM?
The second thing I'm thankful for today is my compact Toyota Corolla. Not only is 'Spence' great on gas, I feel I look way less ridiculous driving down the street with my bass and crappy music turned up way loud. You see, my son HATES the car. He cries and cries unless there is some bass and rap/pop music blasting. I know I look pretty ridiculous driving around in my silver compact, but I bet it doesn't look nearly as ridiculous as it does when I drive around with the music and bass blasting in my grandpa's pearl white Escalade with gold rims. I put on my darkest shades, lean way back and pretend that I don't notice all the looks coming my way... It keeps E happy and my nerves subdued, but seriously folks.. it's pretty ridiculous.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
31 days of thanks (11)
Tuesday Nov 11th:
Today I am thankful for a bed to sleep in.
It's not my own bed, but it's warm and comfortable and I'll call it mine for the time being.
Today I am thankful for a bed to sleep in.
It's not my own bed, but it's warm and comfortable and I'll call it mine for the time being.
Monday, November 10, 2008
31 days of thanks (10)
Monday Nov 10th:
Today I am thankful for neighbors.
It doesn't matter where I live or have lived, I always try to have a good relationship with my neighbors. Even as a kid, I was friends with everyone on the street young and old. Many of life's lessons came from my neighbors. As I grew older I became more aware of the reciprocating part of being a good neighbor and I gave away eggs just as I borrowed them. I left plates of cookies and bread just as I recieved them. I feel like in today's society no one knows their neighbors, but it's important to at least say "hi" you know?
A few days after our wedding, we watched in hopeless sadness as our neighbor's home across the street caught fire. We watched the firemen do their thing, busting out windows and drenching the home in water. We watched our neighbor cry on the steps of someone else's intact home and at least I know that I felt awful, because this particular neighbor I do not know. I can't even say I've waved hello. We barely see the people that occupy this home, but we hear them constantly and I can only imagine that this fire added even more crap to a full pot of an already bad situation. For days I felt awful. Should I make some lasagna? Leave a note? Offer to help if they need anything? On my part I did nothing except pray that they found the help they needed and made light of their situation. I didn't do anything because I didn't know them, rarely see them and felt stupid to intrude into their lives with my happy dispostion. It's a horrible excuse of neighborly " and this time I failed as a good neighbor.
Tonight though, I was blessed with neigborly love from my grandparents neighbors whom I've never met. All day long my grandparents talked about having steak for dinner. Their fridge/freezer broke sometime last night and we woke up to a sopping wet floor and thawed food so we took some stuff to my aunt's and decided steak was just to precious to throw out, BUT around 4pm my grandpa decided he wanted a BLT, my grandma seconded the proposal and I accepted the change thinking it would be easier than steak anyway.
I got out the incredibly heavy flat grill for the bacon, I washed and cut the lettuce, sliced tomatoes and avocado, and cut open a melon. I toasted the bread, and only then did I find that there was no mayo or dressing to be found!!! I thought, no biggie butter's just fine... Apparently, my grandparents are the one's who wished they had a gun this time because they sat arms folded and said indignately "we can't eat BLT's without mayo!" What? OK...
I tried reasoning that butter was delicious and it's the bacon that makes the sandwich great (even though secretly I was jonesing for some mayo too) It didn't work and they sulked off into their respective rooms leaving me standing in the middle of the kitchen with everything but the mayo. It only took a moment for me to grab a bowl and bolt outside and across the street to T and D's home.
I've never met these wonderful people but tonight they saved my sanity. After some handshakes, small talk about the "nice things we've heard about eachother" and apologies for not introducing ourselves earlier, I was once again standing in our kitchen only this time I had a gelatinous bowl of mayo and a huge grin. My gramps smiled, even though I'm pretty sure he had no idea what just happened and my grandma chastised me for "doing such a thing". I'm pretty happy with my manuever and pretty thankful that these kind folks let me in and gave me mayo "saving the night". In the end gramps got his BLT, grams swayed to peanut butter toast and I enjoyed a NICE BIG GLASS of wine with my BLT salad and as I drift off to sleep tonight with my little sweet-breathed snuggle bum snuggled close I'll quietly thank all my neighbors for all the help and love and appreciation they've given me over the years and with luck I'll be able to keep on reciprocating.
Today I am thankful for neighbors.
It doesn't matter where I live or have lived, I always try to have a good relationship with my neighbors. Even as a kid, I was friends with everyone on the street young and old. Many of life's lessons came from my neighbors. As I grew older I became more aware of the reciprocating part of being a good neighbor and I gave away eggs just as I borrowed them. I left plates of cookies and bread just as I recieved them. I feel like in today's society no one knows their neighbors, but it's important to at least say "hi" you know?
A few days after our wedding, we watched in hopeless sadness as our neighbor's home across the street caught fire. We watched the firemen do their thing, busting out windows and drenching the home in water. We watched our neighbor cry on the steps of someone else's intact home and at least I know that I felt awful, because this particular neighbor I do not know. I can't even say I've waved hello. We barely see the people that occupy this home, but we hear them constantly and I can only imagine that this fire added even more crap to a full pot of an already bad situation. For days I felt awful. Should I make some lasagna? Leave a note? Offer to help if they need anything? On my part I did nothing except pray that they found the help they needed and made light of their situation. I didn't do anything because I didn't know them, rarely see them and felt stupid to intrude into their lives with my happy dispostion. It's a horrible excuse of neighborly " and this time I failed as a good neighbor.
Tonight though, I was blessed with neigborly love from my grandparents neighbors whom I've never met. All day long my grandparents talked about having steak for dinner. Their fridge/freezer broke sometime last night and we woke up to a sopping wet floor and thawed food so we took some stuff to my aunt's and decided steak was just to precious to throw out, BUT around 4pm my grandpa decided he wanted a BLT, my grandma seconded the proposal and I accepted the change thinking it would be easier than steak anyway.
I got out the incredibly heavy flat grill for the bacon, I washed and cut the lettuce, sliced tomatoes and avocado, and cut open a melon. I toasted the bread, and only then did I find that there was no mayo or dressing to be found!!! I thought, no biggie butter's just fine... Apparently, my grandparents are the one's who wished they had a gun this time because they sat arms folded and said indignately "we can't eat BLT's without mayo!" What? OK...
I tried reasoning that butter was delicious and it's the bacon that makes the sandwich great (even though secretly I was jonesing for some mayo too) It didn't work and they sulked off into their respective rooms leaving me standing in the middle of the kitchen with everything but the mayo. It only took a moment for me to grab a bowl and bolt outside and across the street to T and D's home.
I've never met these wonderful people but tonight they saved my sanity. After some handshakes, small talk about the "nice things we've heard about eachother" and apologies for not introducing ourselves earlier, I was once again standing in our kitchen only this time I had a gelatinous bowl of mayo and a huge grin. My gramps smiled, even though I'm pretty sure he had no idea what just happened and my grandma chastised me for "doing such a thing". I'm pretty happy with my manuever and pretty thankful that these kind folks let me in and gave me mayo "saving the night". In the end gramps got his BLT, grams swayed to peanut butter toast and I enjoyed a NICE BIG GLASS of wine with my BLT salad and as I drift off to sleep tonight with my little sweet-breathed snuggle bum snuggled close I'll quietly thank all my neighbors for all the help and love and appreciation they've given me over the years and with luck I'll be able to keep on reciprocating.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
31 days of thanks (days 4-9)
So, I left Minneapolis Tuesday November 4th for Reno, NV to visit my grandparents. Hence, the week of missing posts. When I planned the trip it was soley for the meeting of E and his great-grandparents and it never occured to me that for 10 days I would not only be responsible for my sweet time-consuming little man, but also for my "sweet" dear grandparents. On top of the extra care-taking bestowed upon me, I have the worst cold that just won't go away, but since this month I'm blogging about things I'm thankful for I won't go into how much this cold sucks.
Tuesday November 4th:
Today I am thankful that Barack Obama is going to be the next president of the United States!!!
I was sitting in concorse E in the MSP airport when the first polls closed. I sat there among 3 or 4 dozen people, eyes glued to the gigantic(thankfully) T.V drinking a decaf mocha, smiling with others as we watched history being made. People filing off the incoming plane stood in thier places, blocking the others behind them as they tried to catch a glimpse of what was going on. It made me happy and proud and nervous to see so many people waiting and hoping for the same thing. As I boarded my plane I prayed that when I got off in Phoenix, Obama would still be in the lead. He was. When we taxi'd into Reno at 10:01PM later that evening and cells phones were again allowed usage, I knew before I even opened and read the half dozen text messages that Obama had won or was winning still. I think I even squealed a bit when I read the wonderful news much to the chagrin of the man sitting next to me. He was a McCain supporter and snarled when I said with laugh "he won!" What a glorious day!
Wednesday Nov 5th:
Today I am thankful for the wonderful cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul.
I am thankful that I have such a beautiful place to call home, a wonderful house to live in, parks to play in, delicious diverse restaurants to eat in, places to shop at and neighborhoods with sidewalks. Sometimes it take visiting grandparents in Reno to appreciate what neccessities sidewalks are. It takes visiting here to appreciate the miles and miles of trails for hiking, biking and walking. I'm happy to be here because it definitely makes me realize, rain, sun, snow and ice that under any circumstance, Minneapolis is far superior to Reno. I might need a reminder when I return home and it's in the 20's and snow is once again on the ground, but I'll take it. I don't understand still, why they picked Reno, NV to spend the rest of thier lives but I definitely understand why I picked Minneapolis to spend the rest of mine.
Thursday Nov 6th:
Today I am thankful for naps.
Since I have a cold and a baby, I've been trying to nap a lot while here and it's been fab-u-lous! E just curls up against my tummy and we snuggle, wrapped in fleece, drool trickling out of the corners of our mouths, sighing sighs contentment, just napping our days away. It's even somewhat pleasant waking because I know another nap is 2 hours nearer. I don't nap as much as I should while I'm at home, but here I've been a nappin' fool and it's great. It's also pretty much the only way to stay warm since my grandparents keep thier house at 50 degrees. Seriously? Yes. Seriously.
Friday Nov 7th:
Today I am thankful for my patience.
My grandfather had a minor surgery today on a double hernia. OUCH. I had to take him to the hospital and my wheel-chair bound grams wanted to come too, only grandpa refuses to push her in the wheelchair (don't ask me why) so it was quit the scene with E strapped to my front while I pushed grams in the chair and grampa hobbled along. They bickered up the 3 floors to the waiting area. My grandpa is deaf but won't wear a hearing aid (he has one, but refuses to wear it) and my grandma can't see very well so they were just short of screaming at eachother by the time we reached our destination. 3 floors and I'm already exhausted, plus I have a fever because I still have the stupid cold.
We get into the waiting area only to be met by questions for grandpa, but remember he can't hear so the nurse is yelling at him and my grams is butting in and grandpa is getting more frusterated because he doesn't understand what they are saying to him... Finally we're in pre-op and here comes more nurses with more questions, most of which he's already answered and he HATES repeating himself so voices are being raised again. My grandma keeps cutting off the nurses to ask them if they the E is the prettiest baby they've ever seen, and of course they say "well... we have grandchildren too, blah blah blah" which pisses grams off so everyone is tense and mad again. Forms are pulled out and grandma can't read them and grandpa left his glasses at home and it was just a mess! 2.5 hours later, things are settled and grandpa is off to surgery, grandma is teary-eyed and I'm ready to die or shoot myself. Things got better, he made it through just fine but man oh man...
Please please please remind me of this scene when I go deaf and don't realize it. Please.
Saturday Nov 8th:
Today I am thankful for my health.
I truly believe that we are what we eat and I am so so glad that I eat well, or at least I try to eat well. My grandparents don't cook anymore because one can't and one won't so they exist off of the worst food possible or at least the worst food aside from fast food. I'm actually grateful for E's dairy sensitivity on this trip because it's saved me from having to eat nasty T.V dinners, pre-packaged mashed potatoes and frozen veggies drenched in creamy butter sauce.
Instead, I've had the pleasure of making my grandparents home-cooked meals. My grandpa is diabetic and because of his eating habits his blood sugar is 200 regularly which isn't good. He's on 5 different medications that he takes daily for various illnesses. My grandma's the same only she takes 10 different meds and she's not diabetic. I can't even begin to imagine being forced to take 10 different pills on a daily basis!?! I can barely remember to take my pre-natel vitamins. They are taking pills for pain, blood pressure, cholesteral, eczema, anemia and who knows what else. I'm so sad because I know that a well balanced diet can help reduce all of the above, but they are like children and if someone doesn't do it for them, then they won't or can't do it for themselves. What's even worse to see is the cost of organic produce is much cheaper here in NV than in MN* yet they still won't eat their fresh veggies.
*I still wouldn't live here, even if organic produce and meat was free.
And finally,
Sunday Nov 9th:
Today I am thankful that I don't own a gun.
I vaguely remember saying I wouldn't spend more than 5 days here once before and I wish someone would have reminded me of this when I booked my 10 day trip a few weeks ago. I love my grandparents and if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be half the person I am today so I am thankful for their love and presence in my life but I swear I would shoot myself if I had a gun. It wouldn't be a fatal shot, just enough to get me into the hospital and out of the house so I wouldn't have to endure the fighting, yelling*, swearing, apologizing ect... that occurs almost hourly.
I think today I might have reached my patience capacity. I'm glad I'm here. It breaks my heart to be here and it breaks my heart to leave because they are my family good or bad, but there is so much unhappiness here that poor E could even feel it. He was only happy when it was just he and I locked away "napping". Otherwise the little guy just fussed and fussed. I seriously spent most of the day behind a closed door crying and sleeping because I couldn't take the pressure of doom and sadness bestowed upon me. I know it sounds like whine whine whine, and this is a thankful month but are we all destined to become unhappy, less strong, close-minded and unwilling? Will we think back to our youth, wishing we could "only have one more chance" and completely neglect the beauty of the present? Or is it just my family that lives forever in the past, not taking responsibility for their lives? Please God, not me. I'm thankful for the ability to work through the ugly and treasure the experience and I'm thankful that being here makes me appreciate how great things are at home, even when they don't seem that great.
*out of frusteration because someone won't wear his hearing aid!
Tuesday November 4th:
Today I am thankful that Barack Obama is going to be the next president of the United States!!!
I was sitting in concorse E in the MSP airport when the first polls closed. I sat there among 3 or 4 dozen people, eyes glued to the gigantic(thankfully) T.V drinking a decaf mocha, smiling with others as we watched history being made. People filing off the incoming plane stood in thier places, blocking the others behind them as they tried to catch a glimpse of what was going on. It made me happy and proud and nervous to see so many people waiting and hoping for the same thing. As I boarded my plane I prayed that when I got off in Phoenix, Obama would still be in the lead. He was. When we taxi'd into Reno at 10:01PM later that evening and cells phones were again allowed usage, I knew before I even opened and read the half dozen text messages that Obama had won or was winning still. I think I even squealed a bit when I read the wonderful news much to the chagrin of the man sitting next to me. He was a McCain supporter and snarled when I said with laugh "he won!" What a glorious day!
Wednesday Nov 5th:
Today I am thankful for the wonderful cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul.
I am thankful that I have such a beautiful place to call home, a wonderful house to live in, parks to play in, delicious diverse restaurants to eat in, places to shop at and neighborhoods with sidewalks. Sometimes it take visiting grandparents in Reno to appreciate what neccessities sidewalks are. It takes visiting here to appreciate the miles and miles of trails for hiking, biking and walking. I'm happy to be here because it definitely makes me realize, rain, sun, snow and ice that under any circumstance, Minneapolis is far superior to Reno. I might need a reminder when I return home and it's in the 20's and snow is once again on the ground, but I'll take it. I don't understand still, why they picked Reno, NV to spend the rest of thier lives but I definitely understand why I picked Minneapolis to spend the rest of mine.
Thursday Nov 6th:
Today I am thankful for naps.
Since I have a cold and a baby, I've been trying to nap a lot while here and it's been fab-u-lous! E just curls up against my tummy and we snuggle, wrapped in fleece, drool trickling out of the corners of our mouths, sighing sighs contentment, just napping our days away. It's even somewhat pleasant waking because I know another nap is 2 hours nearer. I don't nap as much as I should while I'm at home, but here I've been a nappin' fool and it's great. It's also pretty much the only way to stay warm since my grandparents keep thier house at 50 degrees. Seriously? Yes. Seriously.
Friday Nov 7th:
Today I am thankful for my patience.
My grandfather had a minor surgery today on a double hernia. OUCH. I had to take him to the hospital and my wheel-chair bound grams wanted to come too, only grandpa refuses to push her in the wheelchair (don't ask me why) so it was quit the scene with E strapped to my front while I pushed grams in the chair and grampa hobbled along. They bickered up the 3 floors to the waiting area. My grandpa is deaf but won't wear a hearing aid (he has one, but refuses to wear it) and my grandma can't see very well so they were just short of screaming at eachother by the time we reached our destination. 3 floors and I'm already exhausted, plus I have a fever because I still have the stupid cold.
We get into the waiting area only to be met by questions for grandpa, but remember he can't hear so the nurse is yelling at him and my grams is butting in and grandpa is getting more frusterated because he doesn't understand what they are saying to him... Finally we're in pre-op and here comes more nurses with more questions, most of which he's already answered and he HATES repeating himself so voices are being raised again. My grandma keeps cutting off the nurses to ask them if they the E is the prettiest baby they've ever seen, and of course they say "well... we have grandchildren too, blah blah blah" which pisses grams off so everyone is tense and mad again. Forms are pulled out and grandma can't read them and grandpa left his glasses at home and it was just a mess! 2.5 hours later, things are settled and grandpa is off to surgery, grandma is teary-eyed and I'm ready to die or shoot myself. Things got better, he made it through just fine but man oh man...
Please please please remind me of this scene when I go deaf and don't realize it. Please.
Saturday Nov 8th:
Today I am thankful for my health.
I truly believe that we are what we eat and I am so so glad that I eat well, or at least I try to eat well. My grandparents don't cook anymore because one can't and one won't so they exist off of the worst food possible or at least the worst food aside from fast food. I'm actually grateful for E's dairy sensitivity on this trip because it's saved me from having to eat nasty T.V dinners, pre-packaged mashed potatoes and frozen veggies drenched in creamy butter sauce.
Instead, I've had the pleasure of making my grandparents home-cooked meals. My grandpa is diabetic and because of his eating habits his blood sugar is 200 regularly which isn't good. He's on 5 different medications that he takes daily for various illnesses. My grandma's the same only she takes 10 different meds and she's not diabetic. I can't even begin to imagine being forced to take 10 different pills on a daily basis!?! I can barely remember to take my pre-natel vitamins. They are taking pills for pain, blood pressure, cholesteral, eczema, anemia and who knows what else. I'm so sad because I know that a well balanced diet can help reduce all of the above, but they are like children and if someone doesn't do it for them, then they won't or can't do it for themselves. What's even worse to see is the cost of organic produce is much cheaper here in NV than in MN* yet they still won't eat their fresh veggies.
*I still wouldn't live here, even if organic produce and meat was free.
And finally,
Sunday Nov 9th:
Today I am thankful that I don't own a gun.
I vaguely remember saying I wouldn't spend more than 5 days here once before and I wish someone would have reminded me of this when I booked my 10 day trip a few weeks ago. I love my grandparents and if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be half the person I am today so I am thankful for their love and presence in my life but I swear I would shoot myself if I had a gun. It wouldn't be a fatal shot, just enough to get me into the hospital and out of the house so I wouldn't have to endure the fighting, yelling*, swearing, apologizing ect... that occurs almost hourly.
I think today I might have reached my patience capacity. I'm glad I'm here. It breaks my heart to be here and it breaks my heart to leave because they are my family good or bad, but there is so much unhappiness here that poor E could even feel it. He was only happy when it was just he and I locked away "napping". Otherwise the little guy just fussed and fussed. I seriously spent most of the day behind a closed door crying and sleeping because I couldn't take the pressure of doom and sadness bestowed upon me. I know it sounds like whine whine whine, and this is a thankful month but are we all destined to become unhappy, less strong, close-minded and unwilling? Will we think back to our youth, wishing we could "only have one more chance" and completely neglect the beauty of the present? Or is it just my family that lives forever in the past, not taking responsibility for their lives? Please God, not me. I'm thankful for the ability to work through the ugly and treasure the experience and I'm thankful that being here makes me appreciate how great things are at home, even when they don't seem that great.
*out of frusteration because someone won't wear his hearing aid!
Monday, November 3, 2008
31 days of thanks (3)
Today I am thankful for falling gas prices.*even though it's probably temporary
When we first bought Spencer in 2006 it cost about 20 bones to fill him up. Slowly, or maybe not, it was 22, then 26 then 30 and then at the highest point thus far, it was 42 dollars to fill him up. Luckily, our little silver corolla (I wish we could afford the hybrid) gets about 34 mpg but still... it was ridiculous. I'm thankful that we made the decision to get an "compact car" because when gas was at it's highest, we could at least afford good food (mostly).
Now that prices are dropping I'm once again smiling because it's takes a 20 to fill up. I just wonder what we're doing with the other 20 or so? I can't find where it went and I also can't figure out why oil prices are dropping but airline prices are rising? Seriously, 500 dollars to go to Reno? I could practically fly to Europe with that. I'm pretty confident that prices will rise after the elections and I'm also pretty confident that prices will never hit .98 cents per gallon like they were when I first started driving. Regardless though, today I only had to pay 20 and it should last for about 10 days, unless of course, C has some serious road trips planned while I'm away.
When we first bought Spencer in 2006 it cost about 20 bones to fill him up. Slowly, or maybe not, it was 22, then 26 then 30 and then at the highest point thus far, it was 42 dollars to fill him up. Luckily, our little silver corolla (I wish we could afford the hybrid) gets about 34 mpg but still... it was ridiculous. I'm thankful that we made the decision to get an "compact car" because when gas was at it's highest, we could at least afford good food (mostly).
Now that prices are dropping I'm once again smiling because it's takes a 20 to fill up. I just wonder what we're doing with the other 20 or so? I can't find where it went and I also can't figure out why oil prices are dropping but airline prices are rising? Seriously, 500 dollars to go to Reno? I could practically fly to Europe with that. I'm pretty confident that prices will rise after the elections and I'm also pretty confident that prices will never hit .98 cents per gallon like they were when I first started driving. Regardless though, today I only had to pay 20 and it should last for about 10 days, unless of course, C has some serious road trips planned while I'm away.
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