31 days of thanks (days 4-9)

So, I left Minneapolis Tuesday November 4th for Reno, NV to visit my grandparents. Hence, the week of missing posts. When I planned the trip it was soley for the meeting of E and his great-grandparents and it never occured to me that for 10 days I would not only be responsible for my sweet time-consuming little man, but also for my "sweet" dear grandparents. On top of the extra care-taking bestowed upon me, I have the worst cold that just won't go away, but since this month I'm blogging about things I'm thankful for I won't go into how much this cold sucks.

Tuesday November 4th:
Today I am thankful that Barack Obama is going to be the next president of the United States!!!
I was sitting in concorse E in the MSP airport when the first polls closed. I sat there among 3 or 4 dozen people, eyes glued to the gigantic(thankfully) T.V drinking a decaf mocha, smiling with others as we watched history being made. People filing off the incoming plane stood in thier places, blocking the others behind them as they tried to catch a glimpse of what was going on. It made me happy and proud and nervous to see so many people waiting and hoping for the same thing. As I boarded my plane I prayed that when I got off in Phoenix, Obama would still be in the lead. He was. When we taxi'd into Reno at 10:01PM later that evening and cells phones were again allowed usage, I knew before I even opened and read the half dozen text messages that Obama had won or was winning still. I think I even squealed a bit when I read the wonderful news much to the chagrin of the man sitting next to me. He was a McCain supporter and snarled when I said with laugh "he won!" What a glorious day!

Wednesday Nov 5th:
Today I am thankful for the wonderful cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul.

I am thankful that I have such a beautiful place to call home, a wonderful house to live in, parks to play in, delicious diverse restaurants to eat in, places to shop at and neighborhoods with sidewalks. Sometimes it take visiting grandparents in Reno to appreciate what neccessities sidewalks are. It takes visiting here to appreciate the miles and miles of trails for hiking, biking and walking. I'm happy to be here because it definitely makes me realize, rain, sun, snow and ice that under any circumstance, Minneapolis is far superior to Reno. I might need a reminder when I return home and it's in the 20's and snow is once again on the ground, but I'll take it. I don't understand still, why they picked Reno, NV to spend the rest of thier lives but I definitely understand why I picked Minneapolis to spend the rest of mine.

Thursday Nov 6th:
Today I am thankful for naps.

Since I have a cold and a baby, I've been trying to nap a lot while here and it's been fab-u-lous! E just curls up against my tummy and we snuggle, wrapped in fleece, drool trickling out of the corners of our mouths, sighing sighs contentment, just napping our days away. It's even somewhat pleasant waking because I know another nap is 2 hours nearer. I don't nap as much as I should while I'm at home, but here I've been a nappin' fool and it's great. It's also pretty much the only way to stay warm since my grandparents keep thier house at 50 degrees. Seriously? Yes. Seriously.

Friday Nov 7th:
Today I am thankful for my patience.

My grandfather had a minor surgery today on a double hernia. OUCH. I had to take him to the hospital and my wheel-chair bound grams wanted to come too, only grandpa refuses to push her in the wheelchair (don't ask me why) so it was quit the scene with E strapped to my front while I pushed grams in the chair and grampa hobbled along. They bickered up the 3 floors to the waiting area. My grandpa is deaf but won't wear a hearing aid (he has one, but refuses to wear it) and my grandma can't see very well so they were just short of screaming at eachother by the time we reached our destination. 3 floors and I'm already exhausted, plus I have a fever because I still have the stupid cold.
We get into the waiting area only to be met by questions for grandpa, but remember he can't hear so the nurse is yelling at him and my grams is butting in and grandpa is getting more frusterated because he doesn't understand what they are saying to him... Finally we're in pre-op and here comes more nurses with more questions, most of which he's already answered and he HATES repeating himself so voices are being raised again. My grandma keeps cutting off the nurses to ask them if they the E is the prettiest baby they've ever seen, and of course they say "well... we have grandchildren too, blah blah blah" which pisses grams off so everyone is tense and mad again. Forms are pulled out and grandma can't read them and grandpa left his glasses at home and it was just a mess! 2.5 hours later, things are settled and grandpa is off to surgery, grandma is teary-eyed and I'm ready to die or shoot myself. Things got better, he made it through just fine but man oh man...

Please please please remind me of this scene when I go deaf and don't realize it. Please.

Saturday Nov 8th:
Today I am thankful for my health.

I truly believe that we are what we eat and I am so so glad that I eat well, or at least I try to eat well. My grandparents don't cook anymore because one can't and one won't so they exist off of the worst food possible or at least the worst food aside from fast food. I'm actually grateful for E's dairy sensitivity on this trip because it's saved me from having to eat nasty T.V dinners, pre-packaged mashed potatoes and frozen veggies drenched in creamy butter sauce.

Instead, I've had the pleasure of making my grandparents home-cooked meals. My grandpa is diabetic and because of his eating habits his blood sugar is 200 regularly which isn't good. He's on 5 different medications that he takes daily for various illnesses. My grandma's the same only she takes 10 different meds and she's not diabetic. I can't even begin to imagine being forced to take 10 different pills on a daily basis!?! I can barely remember to take my pre-natel vitamins. They are taking pills for pain, blood pressure, cholesteral, eczema, anemia and who knows what else. I'm so sad because I know that a well balanced diet can help reduce all of the above, but they are like children and if someone doesn't do it for them, then they won't or can't do it for themselves. What's even worse to see is the cost of organic produce is much cheaper here in NV than in MN* yet they still won't eat their fresh veggies.

*I still wouldn't live here, even if organic produce and meat was free.

And finally,

Sunday Nov 9th:
Today I am thankful that I don't own a gun.

I vaguely remember saying I wouldn't spend more than 5 days here once before and I wish someone would have reminded me of this when I booked my 10 day trip a few weeks ago. I love my grandparents and if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be half the person I am today so I am thankful for their love and presence in my life but I swear I would shoot myself if I had a gun. It wouldn't be a fatal shot, just enough to get me into the hospital and out of the house so I wouldn't have to endure the fighting, yelling*, swearing, apologizing ect... that occurs almost hourly.

I think today I might have reached my patience capacity. I'm glad I'm here. It breaks my heart to be here and it breaks my heart to leave because they are my family good or bad, but there is so much unhappiness here that poor E could even feel it. He was only happy when it was just he and I locked away "napping". Otherwise the little guy just fussed and fussed. I seriously spent most of the day behind a closed door crying and sleeping because I couldn't take the pressure of doom and sadness bestowed upon me. I know it sounds like whine whine whine, and this is a thankful month but are we all destined to become unhappy, less strong, close-minded and unwilling? Will we think back to our youth, wishing we could "only have one more chance" and completely neglect the beauty of the present? Or is it just my family that lives forever in the past, not taking responsibility for their lives? Please God, not me. I'm thankful for the ability to work through the ugly and treasure the experience and I'm thankful that being here makes me appreciate how great things are at home, even when they don't seem that great.

*out of frusteration because someone won't wear his hearing aid!